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Life & Love Relationships

16 Lessons I Learnt From Losing My Virginity At 16 – Must Read

Aug 31, 2016

“I am sixteen and have already lost my
virginity. I truly regret that my first
time was with a guy that I didn’t care
that much about. Since that first night
he expects s*x on every date. When I
don’t feel like it, we end up in an
argument. I don’t think this guy is in
love with me, and I know deep down
that I am not in love with him either.
This makes me feel cheap. I realize
now that this is a very big step in a
girl’s life. After you have done it, things
never the same. It changes
everything.” Since then I have been
involved with other guys and I have
learnt a few of
lessons. Here are a some:
1. Many teenage girls sleep with guys
because they are trying to find love, to
find self-worth. But the catch is that
the more guys they sleep with, the less
self-worth they had.
2. Many girls think that if they really
care about guys, s*x will bring them
closer together. Indeed, s*x creates a
bond. However, 80 percent of the time,
the physical intimacy of first s*xual
relationship won’t last more than
six months.
3. Couples who want what is best for
their relationship or future marriage
will have the patience to wait.
4. Most of the time, when a girl gives
away her virginity, she assumes the
relationship will last forever.But study
of more than 10,000 women shows
that when a girl loses her virginity at
that age at 14, she’ll probably have
thirteen more lifetime s*xual partners.
5. Teen s*x frequently causes tension
within families because of the
dishonesty that usually accompanies
hidden intimacies. Relationships with
friends are often strained, and when
things turn sour, the gossip and social
problems often become unbearable.
6. Everyone talks about how hard it is
to say no to s*x, but no one tells you
how hard it is when you say yes.
7. It is dangerous for a teenage girl to
be sexually active. Because a teenage
girl’s reproductive system is still
immature, she is very susceptible to
sexually transmitted diseases
8. In fact, early s*xual activity is the
number one risk factor for cervical
cancer, and the second is multiple
s*xual partners. A girl’s body, like her
heart, is not designed to handle
multiple s*xual partners.
9.While a girl might plan on sleeping
with only one guy, she could be
exposing herself to the STDs of
hundreds of
people through a single act of
intercourse. Here’s how: Scientists
studied the s*xual activity of a public
high school of about one thousand
students. About half (573) of the
students had been sexually active, and
most of them had only been with one
partner. However, when the scientists
tracked the web of s*xual activity
among the students, it was discovered
that more than half of the sexually
active teens—without knowing it—
were linked
together in a network of 288 partners
within the school! So if a girl slept with
a guy from this school, theoretically
she could be in bed with one-fourth of
the entire student body.
10.The emotional side effects of
premarital s*x are also damaging to a
young woman. One of the most
consequences of teenage s*xual
activity is depression. Girls who are
sexually active are more than three
as likely to be depressed as girls who
are abstinent. In fact, the condition
has become so predictable that the
American Journal of Preventive
Medicine recommends to doctors:
“[Girls who are engaging in] s*xual
should be screened for depression,
and provided with anticipatory
guidance about the mental health risks
these behaviors.”Even if a girl
experiments with s*x once, research
shows an increased risk of depression.
Also, consider the fact that the rate of
suicide attempts for sexually active
girls (aged twelve to sixteen) is six
times higher than the rate for virgins.
11. Unfortunately, many young women
search for meaning only in
relationships with guys, instead of with
God. It is not uncommon for a girl to
have s*x in order to make a guy like
her more or to encourage him to stay
with her. She may compromise her
standards because she is afraid of
never being loved. Once he leaves her,
though, an emotional divorce takes
place. A person’s heart is not
made to be that close to a person and
then separated.
12. Since teenage s*xual relationships
rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-
worth is often damaged. She may
conclude that if she looked better, he
would have stayed longer. This
mentality can lead to harmful
practices, such as eating disorders. Or
the disappointment she feels may drive
her into a state of self-hatred. Some
young women even begin to hurt their
own bodies in an attempt to numb the
emotional pain. Such practices never
solve the problems, though. If she
wants to be loved, she needs to begin
by loving herself.
13. In her heart, a girl who has been
used knows it. However, she may
immediately jump into another s*xual
relationship to escape the hurt. If she
tries to boost her self-esteem by giving
guys what they want, then her self-
worth often ends up depending upon
those kinds of relationships. Her
development as a woman is stunted
because without chastity she does not
know how to
express affection, appreciation, or
attraction for a guy without implying
something s*xual. She may even
conclude that a guy does not love her
unless he makes s*xual advances
toward her. She knows that s*x exists
without intimacy, but she may forget
that intimacy can
exist without s*x. A girl on this track
usually feels accepted initially, but that
acceptance lasts only as long
as the physical pleasure.
14. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll
on her ability to bond. Here’s why:
Sharing the gift of s*x is like putting a
piece of tape on another person’s
arm. The first bond is strong, and it
hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to
person’s arm, and the bond will still
work, but it will be easier to remove.
Each time this is done, part of each
person remains with the tape. Soon it
is easy to remove because the residue
from the various arms interferes with
the tape’s ability to stick.
15. The same is true in relationships,
because neurologists have discovered
that previous s*xual experiences can
interfere with one’s ability to bond
with future partners. This does not
mean that if a person is not a virgin on
the wedding night, he or she will be
unable to bond with a spouse. It
simply means that when we follow
God’s plan, we have the most
abundant life possible. But
when we turn from his designs and
break his commandments, often we
are the ones who feel broken
16 Spiritual. Sin cuts us off from God,
and this is the most serious
consequence of premarital s*x. After
going too
far, many of us know all too well the
cloud of guilt that weighs on our
hearts. The solution is not to kill our
conscience but to follow it to freedom.
It is calling us, not condemning us.
Provided we repent, God will be there
welcome us home and let us start
What this all means is that our bodies,
our hearts, our relationships, and our
souls are not made for premarital
s*x. We should wait to have s*x.


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