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How To Spice Up Your Marriage And Also Prevent Divorce by Ola&perfection

Aug 29, 2016

Marriages are crashing , people who
loved each other once now see
themselves,like USA and IRAQ(eye raq
) see themselves ,marriage is a
beautiful thing and the rate at which
marriages are crashing nowadays is
alarming,so i had to cook this up.
You are probably wondering what
marriage advice a 22 year old has to give
and you are probably saying in your mind
“this small boy has not seen anything he
cant know how it feels until he is
married”
well,so how did i get inspiration for this
piece , here you go
– My sweet mum (the most patient an
wisest woman i have ever met)
-The word of God(The Holy bible)
– Experiences (Marriages of families and
friends ,those that have fallen apart and
those that are still standing)
– Critical Observation
– My God giving ability to understand
human psychology and sociology (i really
need to stop adding this in my posts
before certified professionals come for
my neck )
Ok lets go

DEDICATION :To all happily married
couples out there ,to divorced couples
and to those that are kind of confused as
to where they stand, and of course to
those yet to get married
Alright enough of the chit chat lets head
straight in , i would keep it as short as
possible,its a bit long but i assure you its
worth the time Maximum reading time: 7
minutes(if you are very slow at reading) ,
In no particular order :

DONT MAKE AN INITIAL MISTAKE :
Yeah right !!!, if you are not yet married
don’t make the initial mistake of getting
married to the wrong person because of
pressure from parents , or pressure from
“self” , yeah a lot of people give them self
unnecessary pressure , so be calm , be on
the look out ,weigh the pros and cons
,seek Gods face, people would always
have disadvantages ,no one is perfect .So
know whats right for you and what
disadvantages you can live with and you
are comfortable with.
Fine !! you should love but don’t let that
be the final deciding factor,does he have
a job ?, if he doesn’t, does he have
aspirations , is he working towards them ,
how well does she control temper, when
she is wrong does she apologize,how
well does he/she respond during a
disagreement,does he/she sit me down
to talk about the future etc.,you gotta
have a map and considerably good
“building plan” with the most vital
accessories before you start construction.
NOW LETS DIVE IN FOR THOSE THAT
ARE ALREADY MARRIED

CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELVES
WHAT MADE YOU FALL IN LOVE
Alright,i would start with this , what
sparked the fire !!!,keep that fire burning
,constantly remind him/her why you are
even together in the first place,take her to
that special place where you mistakenly
stepped on her in the university and your
eyes met,take her there and step on her
again *winks* , remind her of the day
u met ,how u met, and why you are even
together in the first place.

BE DYNAMIC
While constantly reminding yourself of
why you fell in love and how u met , pls
try not to do the same thing all over again
, the same restaurant , the same gift , the
same garden , all the time !!!! , NO ,
change things , surprise him/her ,do
something new .The human mind tends
to be less interested in a particular action
with repetition ,when its done the exact
same way, u might want to do the same
thing but make it different add some
spice ,do something you have never done
or something he/she considers you being
too shy to do , sing for her in public be
dynamic mehn !!!.

SWEET NAMES
I would particularly hammer on this one ,
Nigerian couples freak me out when it
comes to names , what is papa Ngozi
?,Mama bose , sharrrrap !!! , call
your wife /husband sweet names jooor ,
and be creative and funny with them with
a very very cool and seductive voice , its
your wife na , call her my sharwama , my
roasted corn *no be me talk am ooo,in
case u chop slap*.But seriously figure it
out and call him/her beautiful names.

RESPECT
This doesn’t always have to be the
woman’s responsibility ,MEN respect
your wives ,there is something called
mutual respect ,just because you are the
“man of the house” doesn’t mean you
should disrespect your wife, don’t talk to
her anyhow,know that she is a human
being as well, she needs to rest when
tired ,she might be too exhausted at
times to do some things just as you are
tired when you come back from
work,don’t shout at her.When you are
angry with your husband be calm don’t
shout at him , respect each other !!!
KNOW HOW TO BE FRANK WITH
WISDOM/IRONING OUT CONFLICTS
While i always advice being patient at all
times and there is a way to caution and
tell your spouse when they go wrong ,
this would differ from couple to
couple,but let your spouse know when
you angry , not by shouting at the top of
your voice and ranting ,when your spouse
annoys you if you feel your anger his
getting out of control do this quickly to
avoid story that touchs
– Excuse yourself to the toilet
-Wash your face with cold water if
possible
– Take a pee and poo if possible , (the
idea is eliminating anything that would
cause even the slightest anxiety in you)
-Stay in the toilet for a few minutes
-Look at your self in the mirror
-If you are living in face me and slap you
like me and dont have mirror , take a
bowl of water , look into it and try to
allow your self to be angry for a few
seconds , then try to smile (i know its not
easy when angry ,but just try), flash
through your memory of the best
moment you have ever spent with him or
her
– Take a deep breath in and out three
times
– Now you are a bit calm , your spouse is
next
– Go back out with a smile
– Walk towards your spouse with a smile
(just try) looking straight into his/her eye
(very important),,make yourself look
vulnerable(a calm face,drop your
shoulders) walk towards him/her calmly
(you dont want it to look like an
attack),grab and KISS(there is a lot of
science going on during this steps a lot of
psychological and chemical reactions,
which would be too long to explain
here)….the rest they say would be history
hopefully..
DISCLAIMER:This MIGHT not work in
some scenarios , e.g when you cheat ,i
wont be responsible for someones
broken head but it would work
when it involves regular issues.

HELP EACH OTHER OUT
You know a thing or two about your
spouses’ work , help out !!!, you know
when she is tired , help her cook , yeah i
said it !!! help her cook, there is nothing
wrong in it , it doesn’t make you less a
man , men !!! the baby has made some
concoction in his diaper help clean the
baby up,your husband is broke help out ,
i know he is the man of the house , but
you gotta hep each other out.

MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
Alright when i say this i dont mean sex
even though its part of it, i grew up
around women, have three sisters, have a
lot of them as friends so i know a thing or
two about them , women have the natural
tendency to be dependent, wanting to be
loved , want to be pampered, treat your
wife like a baby , when she comes back
from work and you get back before her ,
grab her from the door ,carry her inside
joor,take her work clothes off, ask to even
give her a bathe just like you will do to a
baby,tell me whether she will not blush ,
if i hear.Find out what she likes , what
she is having problems with and solve
it,women like problem solvers.

MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A MAN
Hmmm men , [i] whispers *women ,we
men are very easy to crack, very very easy,
i wee tell u the secret in a bit *[/b]
Make your husband feel like a king ,
how ? , when he runs out of cash and
you go shopping , dont pay !!!, slip the
money into his back pocket so no one
sees you and make him pay , if you buy
something make it look like he bought it ,
feed a mans ego and you have made him
a king , respect him.Occasionally make
him look dominant .Make him feel on top
of the world and i assure you he would
make you his queen

LISTEN /BE OBSERVANT
I would like to direct this to mostly men ,
women can be very funny(no offense
ladies),they can want or need something
and be speaking in parables, she can say
something like , ” i went to my friends
office yesterday , if you see this beautiful
gown her husband bought for her ehnn ,
i was like wow wow wow…..”is she a
siren she might be trying to tel
you “Wale buy that dress for me na “, a
woman can say No and mean Yes, a
woman can say Yes and mean No , a
woman can say No and mean No, women
have defied all the natural laws of Yes
and No i know , so what do you do ? ,
watch her body language as she speaks ,
look at the movement of her eye, her
fingers , her mouth , she might be saying
something with her mouth and
something else differently with her body ,
this in a way applies to some men but
mostly for women , so shine your eyes.

BE PLAYFULL/BEHAVE LIKE KIDS/LOVE
LIKE KIDS
I had to really take a look at things ,and i
came up with the concept of loving like
kids
trust me no one loves better than
children,study any kid around you, they
don’t hold grudges except you repeatedly
hurt them even with that some kids would
still love their friends, what am i saying ?
FREE YOURSELF, when he is sitting at the
balcony ,get a cup of water and pour in
his back,abuse each other and call each
other names playfully,play games
together , take a bet sef , whoever looses
does 20 push ups(guys no go wicked
your wife oo).Just have fun and be very
free with your spouse, forgive , love and
play like kids around each other.
KEEP YOUR MARITAL ISSUES IN Y
OUR
HOUSE
Yeah women its your turn , but men also
do this , i see a lot of women discussing
their marital issues with their friends , i
would be honest with you , in my opinion
its wrong ,dont spread your husbands/
wifes dirty linen outside na , if you feel
some issues have gone out of hand talk
to your parents or someone elderly or
you can talk to a 22 year old like me
(no try am o, no be all of us get sense) ,
even your parents sef ,its not everything
you tell them ,always talk to your spouse
first, if its not yielding any result , parents
next, no progress ? , talk to someone he/
she holds in high esteem.

HOW YOU DRESS
Hmmm this one is a strong issue, just like
calling yourselves names like mama
emeka, papa abubakar etc.., how would u
be in the house with your husband and
you would be tying wrapper up and dan ,
go and wear bum short joor,(yeah i am a
Christian, and there is nothing wrong in
it, no be your husband ), men
would be wearing jeans and agbada
, go and where boxers or short
joor and flex your six packs,there is a lot
of psychological effects / significance
even if it seems irrelevant to many
people.

DO AS MANY THINGS AS POSSIBLE
TOGETHER
She is cooking offer to help with some
things , he is fixing his car ?? offer to
bring water to wash his hands or
something, or just stay there and gist
with him, help her pour water on the
babies bum bum when she is washing his
poop, make your spouse know you got
their back !!!,pray together, you would get
to know each other better by doing things
together and you would appreciate each
other more.

CREATE TIME FOR FAMILY
I know the economic situation is making
us workaholics ,but create quality time for
your spouse , to gist ,talk about how the
day went , for intimacy(very
important),create time to be there for
him/her

FILL THE BLANK SPACES
We are humans , we are not perfect, help
your partner, you are married not just for
procreation/intimacy but also to
complement each other ,what is your
spouse not so good at ?, do you know
how to do it ? teach him /her , if you dont
know how to learn it !!! just for their sake
, i am sure he/she would have a lot of fun
learning from you, she doesn’t know how
to cook ? teach her !!!, he is bad at
changing the baby’s diaper ? teach him
.Come on guys !!!.

COMMUNICATION
When i say communication i dont just
mean talking , even if its part of it , its
similar to listening and observation i
listed above , but its is a bit
different.When you want something done
or need something or having problems
speak out !!!!!, dont expect your partner
to just magically know , even if i agree he/
she should be observant enough to know
, but always speak out , talk to him/her
,SPEAK OUT !!!! , *echoes* speak
outtttt !!!! , outttt !!!! , outt, out! , ou !!, ou!
PATIENCE
This is also very important , even after
applying all the above , your spouse at
some point is still bound to get on your
nerves , what do you do ? just be patient
an try to solve issue amicably, learn to
cultivate the habit of being patient , a lot
of dissolved marriages would have being
saved if one of them just exercised 10
seconds of patience.I know its hard but
please try.

BE ROMANTIC
errm this can be defined in various ways ,
but i would simplify it ,its similar to
adding spice but a bit different , for
example ;men when you drive
somewhere with your wife, get down
before her and open the door, thats
western you say ?, its a good western
thing , hug her unexpectedly for a long
time and tell her you love her in her
ears,be sweet , i once saw an annoying
man he and his wife drove back from
church (he was driving) when they got to
their gate , the village man relaxed in his
car with big bele while the woman went to
open the gate , can you imagine !!!!, i just
dey boil for where i dey, even if i said
help out , their are some things a man
should do na .Being a christain doesnt
mean you should not do crazy stuff with
your spouse be weird, be random, be
romantic.
CREATE A SOLID FOUNDATION
If we build a house with just cement it
wont stand for a long time , we need
reinforcement , we need something from
inside to give it strength even on the
outside , “if the foundation is bad what
would the righteous do ” a house that is
not built on solid foundation wont stand,
so put your home,marriage in the hands
of God , pray together solve issues
spiritually and physically , dont do only
one , doing only spiritual is bad (faith
without works is dead) , doing only
physical is not also sufficient enough.I
pray God helps you in your marriages
CONCLUSION
Love conquers all, love your spouse
unconditionally , i believe everything
would fall in place ,for those yet to get
married choose wisely ,cos some people
are just naturally “unbearable” don’t fall
in their hands,for those that are divorced
or just separated please think about it if
its worth it please go back think of why
you love him/her and how much he/she
loves you and wants the best for you
despite the mishaps, if its worth it please
go back.Gods love

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